Blahhhh

Tonight I went totally off the grid.  I came home to an empty house, and I don't know, depression or something kicked in.  

I knew Jerry was going to be leaving today.  I knew I would be facing 2 weeks on my own.  I swore to myself that I could handle it, but on the very first day....Just hours after he's gone...I slip down hill.

First, I sat down as soon as I got home.  I had wanted to go for a walk first, but I was sooo sore and tired already from being on my feet for 8 hours.  So that was my excuse, and I didn't fight it like I should have.

Next, I had brought home a bad of Doritos thinking I would just eat a few here and there, I've always heard it's not good to deprive yourself of things you're craving, just don't go overboard.  Well....I went overboard, and it didn't stop there.

I was still hungry, so I went to search the fridge, not much there, so I ended up finding these Kelbasi that Jerry forgot he had...I cooked them up, made a big salad...and proceeded to mow it all down.

Afterwards, I just sat here, and started to cry.  I knew I messed things up big time eating like that.  What is wrong with me?  I know I need to do this...I push myself for so long, then the minute Jerry isn't here...boom!  Going crazy.

Well, tomorrow is another day, I will try...no...not try I will get back to what I'm supposed to be doing.  God willing I have the strength.